How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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