i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
