why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
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