He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
