i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
