I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Randomize
