They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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