Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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