Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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