The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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