I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
