Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
