Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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