there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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