im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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