best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
