Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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