I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
