So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
