Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
