He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
