How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize