I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
