then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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