If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
