I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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