and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
