Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
