Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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