they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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