also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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