Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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