Me too!
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
