I accidentally burped into my bong.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
