Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Will you blow on my dice?

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  (248): Will you blow on my dice? http://tfl.nu/qi0r
  Replies (3) Good night (1341) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?

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  (414): is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons? http://tfl.nu/ve8k
  Replies (24) Good night (1090) Bad night (4604)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex

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  (763): Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex http://tfl.nu/0lo0
  Replies (27) Good night (1260) Bad night (3965)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.

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  (301): The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me. http://tfl.nu/hdf0
  Replies (56) Good night (745) Bad night (5745)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.

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  (801): He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face. http://tfl.nu/vz1o
  Replies (79) Good night (9095) Bad night (3306)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf

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  (905): No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf http://tfl.nu/d4pp
  Replies (8) Good night (914) Bad night (3931)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.

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  (760): PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART. http://tfl.nu/0igl
  Replies (12) Good night (2954) Bad night (893)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.

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  (212): When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too. http://tfl.nu/4mqk
  Replies (3) Good night (1225) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM

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  (703): I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM http://tfl.nu/jp0v
  Replies (6) Good night (2848) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH

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  (859): I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH http://tfl.nu/ebr6
  Replies (1) Good night (836) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.

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  (585): Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello. http://tfl.nu/2jqd
  Replies (6) Good night (892) Bad night (1775)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  You're the common denominator of my blackouts.

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  (202): You're the common denominator of my blackouts. http://tfl.nu/n8nz
  Replies (4) Good night (740) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards

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  (540): Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards http://tfl.nu/fozz
  Replies (1) Good night (642) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.

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  (336): Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza. http://tfl.nu/t9n4
  Replies (0) Good night (422) Bad night (164)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.

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  (812): I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity. http://tfl.nu/zstm
  Replies (5) Good night (217) Bad night (136)

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