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• (251): View more from Alabama

  Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance

  (303): View more from Colorado

  It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.

  (1-908): View more from New Jersey

  you should have been aborted.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?

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  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (201): View more from New Jersey

  No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.

  (1-201): View more from New Jersey

  You're a rent hooker.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Your cock is gonna weep like a baby

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore

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• 

  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight

  Fav 2 80 11

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