I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.