well I can't set my house on fire every night
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
