So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
