Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
