Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
