his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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