At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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