I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
