he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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