She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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