if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
no, he came in my armpit
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
