I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
