My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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