i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something