i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.