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Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
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