if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.