Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!