***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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