Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
