Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
