You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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