So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
