alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Randomize
