im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize