Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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