We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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