Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
