he thought i was a dude.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
