They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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