Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Even my vagina gasped.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
