YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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