In the future we'll all be gay
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
A+ Viking dick
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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