obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
