just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
